Before I begin, a recap.
Two years ago, I posted a piece on the Listen Up! Hub called The Past Would Let Go Of Me. In it, I documented my experience of going back to my GP to ask for help with my mental health. I’d realised I needed talking therapy. I was struggling with nightmares, becoming afraid to go to sleep. I also wrote about the extensive assessment process that followed. It ended with an update on 9th December 2022: following an MDT, I would require yet another assessment before I made it to a waiting list. An MDT is a multidisciplinary team meeting where cases are reviewed and decisions made on how to proceed.
That assessment took place in February 2023. I wrote about it in this piece. After that appointment I was placed on a waiting list for Compassion Focused Therapy with EMDR to follow.
At this point, it had taken six months just to get onto a waiting list for treatment.
Then there were no updates until April of this year, when a letter appeared, the contents of which I wrote about here.
In a nutshell, the treatment team were sorry about how long I’d been waiting and gave details of support agencies I might like to contact while the wait continued.
And now it’s August 2024.
I receive an email:
It’s been two years since I first asked for help. 18 months since I was placed on a waiting list. How long can this go on? I can’t go private. I’ve spent over £500 for dental work recently because I couldn’t get an NHS dentist. Earlier this year I spent another couple of hundred pounds at an opticians because I need glasses and the NHS doesn’t cover that either. I simply can’t afford to go private for my mental health too.
I can’t comprehend how bad things are where people with health issues which affect them daily are having to wait years for treatment. A lot of people wait until they can no longer manage symptoms on their own before seeking support from a clinician. You are then expected to hope things don’t get worse while waiting an untold length of time to receive help to manage better, or to improve/resolve the issue. It’s a gamble.
I know I could’ve gone to the GP earlier but what I have is a chronic condition – it’s unlikely I’ll ever be symptom free. I had to weigh up when I reached a point where things had got too bad for self-management. I reached that point two years ago. Life doesn’t stand still while you wait. There are still hurdles and obstacles which are massively further complicated by poor mental health.
It’s fucked up and I’m tired. It’s hard not to see that email as a coded message – “have you given up yet? Maybe you should give up because you ain’t getting what you need from us.” It feels like a test.
All I want is to unshackle myself from the past and be allowed to be happy.
I’d like to understand why waiting lists are so bad.
I’d like to know what is being done about them.
I’d like to know why mental health waiting lists aren’t talked about in the same tones as waiting lists for physical ailments; mental and physical health don’t exist in different plains of existence and I’m fairly sure we need both to be healthy in order to live a fulfilled life.
I’d like to know why those who live with trauma are not seen as a priority.
Enough.
