Please note: the report talks about mental health and substance use

 

 

 

 

As someone with mental health issues – having them since the age of 17 when a family member passed away – I went into a deep depression. Not knowing what to do I turned to drink and crime.

I was stealing to feed my usage. When it got to a point when I almost got prison time I went to get help. With thoughts running through my head to do something silly my doctors placed me on meds. I was just sitting there crying, crying to a point that I couldn’t speak. With meds given to me I just hoped that this would sort it self out.

A few years on and here now with this lockdown, jobless and not knowing what to do. My depression started back up just like I was 17. No savings left. Worried about my housing issues. No groups for me to go to. How did I manage for so long?

I just keep thinking that why now? Why so long into life have I got to deal with this rubbish.

My doctors wanted me to get my meds but only after a review. This happened just before the lockdown and a lucky one in deed. I just hope that my depression sorts of self out soon so I can get work again. That I can be me again.

Just thinking that I am nothing, thinking that I don’t have no one near me who understands. Someone who will be there with me through the bad and good. Bring on this lift of the lockdown then I will be one happy bunny. And I see through the next few days after.

With the light breaking through the blackness of the dark that is depression.

The author of this blog has chosen to remain anonymous.