This picture sums up my most important recovery gift – connection 🤜🤛
Now, I make no apology for the team colours, proud black and white, but as a dad who took his eldest to his first game, excited, nervous yet safe with his dad, further games became more distant or fraught, as the grip of my addiction took hold of the occasions 😢
More excuses for my money than tickets, too drunk to drive, tired of being nagged (why! 😔), disappointments grew quickly with him until, and quite rightly, it wasn’t safe for him to be in my company.
His mum, stepping out of her own discomfort of our family life, made the call I dreaded, leave….. and weirdly, or not really, I carried on for a few more years in my selfish darkness.
Homeless ✅, poor health ✅, worthless ✅, angry✅, isolated ✅
So, coming back to my point, today a few years into my recovery, I have people around me who understand my illness better, work with me on my behaviours, show me compassion when I still get things wrong, often, but they all say they’re willing to continue because they see the effort and work I’m putting in to recover myself from darkness.
And finally, my boy came to St James’s Park with me half a dozen times last season, highs and lows, but MOST importantly….. he came back for me…… and held my hand again! ….. what more can a dad dream for…… 🖤🙏🤍
(Apologies for the NUFC bias, please insert your team/sport)