This article talks about acute depression 

 

In this piece Laura writes about her struggle to come to terms with being born with ‘the wrong’ body. She asks you to put yourself in her shoes and imagine for a minute what it must feel like to not recognise yourself in the mirror, have to wait for an unsympathetic system to believe in you and help, and to deal with the ignorance of people who openly judge and disapprove. 

As a trans person living in Manchester in 2021 I feel lucky in one way, after being demonised back in  2014 whilst coping with long-term depression.

People ask me how I deal with things daily, being Trans and being in Manchester. Well, here it is.

Since 2014, when I got told I had depression I had been dealing with horrors that I do not wish for anyone to have to go through, then having to deal with people on a daily basis, who don’t understand nor want to understand.

Just think about having to that wake up every day knowing that you were born in the wrong body, that you don’t want to be the person you are, or the person people want you to be. Well, I know that deep down I was meant to be a woman.

Waking up to the wrong things in place of the parts I am wanting to be there, even after a great night’s sleep, where you don’t have to see or know that you are the wrong gender. Waking up in the morning seeing and knowing that is the most painful thing to have to go through, then looking in the mirror seeing that the you that is there is not the you that you should be. This is when things kick off in my mind to the point that I wanted to do something to get it [gender reassignment surgery] done quickly.

Then having to come to terms with the fact that I must wait to get professional support. As the day moves on having to ensure that I look as feminine as I can look, going out in the world having people look at me, not knowing what they think – well that’s how it feels.

And some really do look and talk. I always remember one person at beginning of my transition that looked at me with eyes that could harm, then said that I was a disgrace to humanity. With everything I could muster I said one simple thing

This is Manchester UK not Texas US, (we are meant to have a community here of acceptance, not hate)

But I have come across people who offer care and support, which has shown me that attitudes have changed over the years.

So before judging someone just think what they go through every day, they may just need someone to say its ok, and you will be all right.