This short report was part of a back and forth I had with Steve about the way many addicts have a tendency to fear progress. Why is that we feel anxious when opportunities present themselves. I told Steve I call it fear of success and this was his reply. [Mat Amp project coordinator]

 I know exactly what it is If I succeed at something then the chances are I will be asked to do it again or rather gain further responsibility. I have avoided responsibility since the dawn of time. That is why I was so comfortable being homeless, going begging, being a fully fledged time served OBE drug addict. All I had to do was focus on getting that first 30 quid together,  have a hit, quick visit to the moon, then stroll through the rest of the day. All I was responsible for was not being rough. So basically I suppose it boils down to selfishness. Fear of success, fear of failure, riddled with fear. Historically if you do your research nothing positive ever follows the word riddled. No one has ever proclaimed to be riddled with happiness. Riddled lol 

Interesting fact. The word riddle is derived from the name of a tool  known as a riddle. A riddle is a large square sieve that of course has many holes in it – hence the term riddled with bullets.