The scales of justice do not care?

 

Those ideas of uncertainty,

To some quest of certainty?

 

Why am I feeling so low today?

My life has got ups and downs like

Everyone else on this planet.

October 2022, moving to a friend’s

House, single since June 2023.

Here we go again, the same

Things with different results.

 

I think I learn this time. Rewind,

1993, UK landing.

Community Service volunteer, 1993 to 1994.

Support Worker, 1995 to 2022.

Recovery since 2018.

I try the best of my ability to understand the changes in my own existence.

A scary process, oh boy! Such is life. I am not that young, an excuse,

My dear friends, whispered in my ears.

Get on with it? Patronising?

Support and advice always at hand,

Even if I do not see it… realising

That I have a chance to be MYself?

Whatever it means…

How lucky am I? I am still breathing, second after second.

Using London Transport, Oyster card throughout London, the City…

 

Attending recovery meetings.

Progress in life. Trainings.

Options. Gratitude to all the people

I encounter on a daily basis.

Contributing to my own journey.

 

The fear still lingers in my own flesh

And bones, worrying, what is next?

Who knows, nobody knows.

My negativity governs over me.

Positivity. Adopting a P.M.A,

Positive Mental Attitude to everything, you must be joking?

 

Always remember that I am not the

Only one to deal with life’s problems. 8 billion souls. Ohhh?

 

C’est la vie? Such is life.

This uncertainty drags me down.

Events of glorious past.

Birth, life, marriage, old age, diseases

Oh, stop moaning.

The list goes on and on…

Now, free without nuclear Family or Family Life.

I wanted this for a long time?

Then it is offered right in front of me. On a platter. Ungrateful child.

Do not deny it. Regrets, do not go there. I cannot afford it. Blast.

My path of uncertainty to my own quest of certainty.

Two linguistics spoken. Gratitude.

What doubt, banish that thought.

Training courses,

Community reporter.

Lucky one…

My modesty must I apply to those I encounter and will encounter

In my life path.

I am so lucky.

Gratitude to all of you…

 

Y.C.G.