Just under three years ago I had my fourth seizure due to my addiction to alcohol and having medically detoxed in hospital I finally admitted I was Powerless over my addiction and needed to change my way of living or simply I wouldn’t see the end of the year.
I did a three month rehab in my city and during that time I attended all the different mutual aid recovery groups (AA, NA, Smart, CA) to support my recovery.
As I worked hard, I gradually found that the NA programme seemed to be answering my questions more than the others so giving my thanks to the other groups I pinned my badge to NA and…..
It’s over two years now since that conscious choice and what with everything around the virus I’m still in recovery and my life looks different from those dark days.
I have hope, sanity, gratitude for what I have and have even started my dinosaur journey to being tech savvy (well not very far!)
I can only share MY experience with you but I’ve found friendship, honesty, trust and respect from my fellow addicts who have always been there when I’ve been really low, resentful, angry with people. Situations I find myself still getting into. Yet the difference for me is that whilst I still think of drinking I don’t actually act on it as that would waste the last two years hard slog and the opportunities that I’ve been able to grab which I’d lose by relapsing.
My kids now chat with their dad…. they didn’t for a long time!
I would also like to share my thoughts around my recovery from my addiction to alcohol during these Covid-19 times.
I am very fortunate to have the support of NA and its members currently in these tough times. My initial thoughts were I can’t or won’t engage online as face to face was my only way to feel safe – how wrong was I!
Connecting with fellow addicts shows itself in different forms and the fears I had going online were much more around my reluctance rather than my adaptability to view things differently. My alternative was to go back to isolating myself which is how I got into such a downward spiral with my old self.
I now have a whole new bunch of people worldwide to connect with if I choose to and I have also been able to meet f2f in between lockdowns.
My recovery is all about connecting – so I’ve been fortunate enough keep it in hand for just about a year now by online and phoning – which helps me to share my resentments/moods and frustrations and grab hold of the opportunities that have been coming up as people recognise my new ways of thinking and behaving.
Don’t get me wrong, I was and continue to be a tech dinosaur, and frequently log myself out much to the amusement of my peers but with practice and willing I manage okay.
These days I love to see how resilient our recovery community is and how we can help each other – and that’s opened the eyes of the ‘normal people’ who never showed their gratitude to people who have been dealing with difficult situations or how they viewed themselves in comparison.