Grief or Loss – My Take 

 

Grief. It’s such a sensitive subject, there’s no rights or wrongs in how to live with it- can you, can it pass, will it ever pass. Bigger and better people might think they have answers, I don’t. 

 I’ve lost my house, relationships, friends, enemies and even a mystery lover in the last decade. I tried to emotionally deal with each thing as they hit me – each time differently and mostly damaging.  

 House 🏠– devastating and traumatic, spent years paying to have it, addiction took it. 

 Relationships 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦– marriage and sons, spent years nurturing them, addiction took them. 

 Friends 🧑‍🤝‍🧑– lost each relationship in time, some to never get back, addiction even took their lives in my recovery to remind me… addiction was my soul mate.  

 Enemy 🦹 – addiction that wouldn’t go away… whatever people told me… he (it) cunningly influenced everything I did and even created new enemies for me (😡)  

 Lover 💋 – only in my pitiful head sadly – who’d be interested in this… I wouldn’t! 

 Each of the above for me is ‘loss’… my interpretation of grief at this moment. 

 I know, very sadly, life always throws up curveballs, some small, some huge, like a death in the family or life-threatening disease or illnesses.  

 How I act emotionally, lashing out at people, services, society, will be judged and no doubt about that – ahh… here he goes again, like the old times… and maybe I will 🙄 

In recovery, where I am today, hints of getting back some of the above are possible again… (even a real lover 🤭…)  

 Not guaranteed in the slightest without sheer bloody hard work. Connection with positive energy and people is where I’m hoping to stay….. Trying to be the best version of me that I can each day.  

 If I report in again soon, you’ll know I’ve got through things my way. 

 

Miles