Do I fear catching Covid 19? Naturally I do, as well as what it might bring.
Do I fear my addiction is waiting to pounce and convince me to willingly partake of its pleasures once again.
Which option is more attractive? Stark choice, let’s see.
I can try and manage both if they arrive at my door but which will impact most – easy answer.
Both can hit at a moment’s notice, privileged or otherwise, get treated in various way and at their darkest moments, are both killers.
I’m a resilient bugger these days after all I’ve experienced these last number of years.
My strength is facing life on its own terms, good, the bad and …well my ugly mugs as worn as Clints…
A difficult time in hospital – tick
An absolute fear of death – tick
Separation from people – tick
Not knowing if I’ll wake up – tick
A significant change in outlook – tick
Total behavioural changes – tick
A head full of trauma – tick
This is my recovery tick list, not the decision I had around the headline of this piece and I’m glad to take this option over them.