Reports

Dark and Light


Reported by Charlie

Published on Tuesday, April 5th, 2022

Mental Health
Reports

Dark and Light


Written by Charlie

Published on Tuesday, April 5th, 2022

Mental Health

Dark to light. You stand there in the dark. It engulfs you, its lure pulls you further in. It’s almost intoxicating, its pain becomes the norm. It envelopes you like a blanket. Then you get a sense of someone close to you, you feel a hand brush your side, you reach out and grab that hand, you hold on tight.

You feel yourself being pulled forward, one foot after another, one step leading to another step. In the distance you catch a glimmer of light, but you still look back into the darkness, its lure almost impossible to ignore, like being on a band that’s reached its tension point and is pulling you back. You’ve still got a tight grip on that hand and it’s still pulling you forward, you fight to keep the steps going forward.

Your hand is getting sweaty, you feel your grip loosen, but you know you must not let go. You look forward, you see light breaking out all across the horizon, the light becomes brighter, causing you to screw your eyes closed, to return to the darkness you know so well, but you still hold that hand, you’re still moving forward.

The light starts to penetrate your eyelids, you open them to see the light grow brighter. You look around and all you see is devastation and destruction, a waste land. No matter how bright the light gets, there is always shadows and crevices, where the darkness lies in wait, almost beckoning you in, you resist.

In the distance you see a utopia, no destruction, people walking around carefree (bastard). You try to carry on walking towards it. When it’s dark, that is all there is. When the light shines, there is always shadows and crevices nurturing the dark. 

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Written by Charlie


Charlie Radbourne has more than six years, peer support and advocacy experience. Sitting on many service user forums and local authority committees. Due to mental health problems, coming under CMHT and the crisis team, Charlie spent eight months sleeping rough and in the local night shelter, then four years in a hostel / supported accommodation.

Read all of Charlie's articles

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Mental Health

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