I’ve been thinking about resolve of late. You need that if you’re gonna give up anything I guess but really you need to trick yourself into believing that being clean is what you want. Being clean is something you  you have to seek rather than having to resist the urge to use, because it’s going to be really really difficult if all you’re ever do is denying yourself. Hey, we’re all different and maybe cold hard denial will work for you, but read Alan Carr’s book about giving up smocking if you want to look deeper in to this train of thinking. As far as I can remember the book entitled ‘Alan Carr’s Easy to Quit Smoking Without Willpower’ is all about this, as the title suggests. 

 If you spend all day trying not to do something then there will be one of those seconds when you just say yes, It might be that you just get exhausted with saying no, it might be because you tell yourself you are inevitably going to say yes at some point so why not now, but it’s nearly always because you are having to say no, over and over again. Renton at the end of the film Trainspotting nails this, even it does sound utterly sarcastic.

“I’m gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.”

Choose Life, init. Choose life and move on. Forget about the drugs and think of it as doing something rather than denying yourself something. You are getting something new, something you want. Instead of saying  no over and over again, you are saying yes. Yes, to life.