Blogs Reports

Can You Grieve Twice For One Person?


Reported by Karen

Published on Friday, August 4th, 2023

Support and Relationships Trauma
Blogs Reports

Can You Grieve Twice For One Person?


Written by Karen

Published on Friday, August 4th, 2023

Support and Relationships

Trauma

Am I already grieving for my dad even though he’s still living? I’m looking at him now and I see life draining away from him, day by day he’s deteriorating, becoming the shadow of the man he used to be. 

The man I’ve put on a pedestal, the man who has taught me so many life values, the man who has loved and supported me unconditionally is slipping away. 

Have I shut down to protect myself? Is that why I can’t show any emotion?  

Why am I trying to project how I’ll be when he’s gone? 

Why am I trying to anticipate how I’m going to grieve? 

What makes me think I can see into the future? 

Why am I torturing myself by trying to imagine the pain I will feel? 

Why can’t I cry but my heart is breaking? 

Is this what they call ‘Trauma’? 

Is it possible to grieve twice for the same person? 

One for the man I’ve already lost, then one after he takes his last breath. 

Written by Karen


I'm Karen from Manchester it's great to meet you all. I'm a recovering alcoholic,
I experienced a short time of homelessness many years ago, I'm a survivor of domestic abuse and I'm happy to say I've come through it all.
I volunteered at a local Alcohol and Substance Abuse centre where I qualified as a Peer Mentor.
I now care for my elderly dad who is housebound and I feel blessed to be able and well enough to do this.
I hope as part of this Community Reporting team our stories can contribute to making a difference to homelessness and health inequalities and shine a light on any other injustices we come across.
 

Read all of Karen's articles

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Support and Relationships Trauma