I was detoxing at the time. Sweating profusely, dry retching, rattling, my heart beating ten to the dozen, full of anxiety.
I was told to keep it in the day.
A day was like a lifetime in early recovery: it seemed so unachievable. An hour on the other hand felt kinder. I even broke it down to 15 minutes some days. Getting clean/sober is tough, once you’ve detoxed and are no longer physically dependent on the substance, you are left with the mental obsession to drink/use again. We’re never recovered, we have a daily reprieve.
Once you have broken free from those shackles of addiction you don’t ever want to go back.